Tonight I was on an online forum created for a passionate, active movement of Christian teens. They believed that young people could do hard things, too. Could change the worlds.
There were project forums, and teenagers all across the world banded together with projects like sending toys to orphanages in Haiti, making quilts for crisis pregnancy centers, combating human trafficking, building wells in poor villages in Uganda, packing meals for homeless shelters.
We were united, strong, passionate, willing to change things and unwilling to get comfortable.
Together, we were figuring it out. We were finding Jesus. We were full of love, hope, enthusiasm.
We were doing something.
But something changed. We lost sight of our first love.
I didn’t even realize it at one point, but I slowly drifted away from it. I was doing my own projects, busy with my own life, cross-country, working at Birthright, everything else that happened in the fall of ninth grade.
Only recently I rediscovered the shambles of this once-vibrant movement.
Every single “action” project was about politics.
No more digging wells or making quilts.
No more doing.
A lot of websites, a lot of petitions, a lot of useless prayers to save a country that doesn’t want to be saved by politics.
A lot of self-righteous people talking about godly politics. Funny how our country’s political system is based on the political system of “pagan” Athens. Not God.
A lot of talk about freedom and rights, when freedom has nothing to do with a country’s policy and everything to do with a cross.
But I’ve stayed a member of these forums. I keep posting, asking, trying to wake someone up. Trying to find someone, anyone, who thinks there’s something wrong. Who thinks that Christianity is more than being Republican and voting for the church-approved candidate.
I’m frustrated. Disappointed. Angry.
But I keep coming back. I keep trying.
I’m doing the same thing with my youth group, a place full of cliques, and perfect plastic faces, and youth leaders who want to look and sound good.
I keep coming back.
Why do I try, at this point? Why do I keep coming back to this pain and frustration? Why do I fight with this desire to cut and run from these two groups? Why do I fight this losing battle?
The church- the supposed body of Christ- has hurt too many people I love. Yet in it are also people I love, a lot.
How do I reconcile this?
At this point I know I’m following Jesus (umm, actually, trying. and failing a lot). And I’m trying to love Him, but I don’t know anymore if the church cares about this anymore…
What do you think? What is the church’s purpose? Has it strayed from that or is it still true to its purpose? What would Jesus think of my forum or youth group?